New Caliphs

The Wisdom of Mohammad

May Allah grant us peace and honor.

We finally arrived in Timbuktu, and I with a massive gash adorned across my midsection. Despite my insides nearly falling out on the ground in front of me, Faisal said nothing and expected me to continue with my daily duties and even forced me to read some non-sensible Latin out of the back of a wooden book for him, as if the physical pain isn’t enough, he also wants to torment my mind. Alas, my loyalty is his as long as my debt is not paid. May Allah have mercy upon his filthy soul.

Luckily, Abba was kind enough to help me with my injuries. He spread some green mushy mixture that smelled of ox urine and mint, which reminded me of Saafir’s wife’s lentil soup, on my wounds. He told me to leave it on for the whole day, but when I scraped some of it off a couple minutes later I was surprised to find the wound almost completely healed. When I teased him that it was clearly an act of magic, he vehemently denied he knew any magic. His denial makes it very clear that he knows magic, it must be something that runs in Jewish blood.

Last night I had a very strange dream about the city of Cordoba. When I was looking at the markings on the outside of Faisal’s book yesterday, it became evident that the markings were Spanish, so when I dreamt of Cordoba, it must have been a sign from Allah.
When I told everyone of my discovery, Abba started talking about having the same dream as well. However, this cannot be so, he must have invaded my dream when I was sleeping using his Jewish black magic. This frightens me more than I can explain, for if he can invade my dreams, what is to stop him from stealing them?

Somewhere in the dry, nasty desert
I thought that in all of my time on this world I had seen some strange things, but today Allah let me glimpse something truly fascinating. We were treading though the deep desert when Ping noticed that something was following us. In all his military wisdom, he decided that we should spring a trap upon them before they attacked us. Not desiring to end up with my insides on the ground again, I rigged a trap with my crossbow and masterfully concealed myself in the sand next to it. Much to my dismay, the creates that walked into my trap were not bandits but creatures with no heads!
Unfortunately, my trap worked well and struck one of these fascinating creatures in the middle of it’s body. I’m not sure how, but luckily my bolt did not kill the poor creature, his heart and brain must be located somewhere else on his body. I suspect his heart is in his left arm and his brain in his right and his lungs must be right where his mouth hole is, in the center of his torso. Between having to keep Abba from killing these interesting creatures and their fear of us, I was only able to study them for a brief seconds. Whether they are creatures from Allah or the Devil, I do not know, but whatever they are, may Allah have mercy upon their souls.

We arrived in Tunis today, Abba is out drinking again. He came home very late last night stinking of the Devils breath. I have told him many times that he should refrain from poisoning his body but he does not listen. Even when I offer to lend him my precious copy of the Koran so that he may learn the true path to happiness, he refuses. He has not invaded my dreams since the first time, maybe he can learn from his mistakes.
Despite his silver tongue, his violent nature and insistence upon poisoning his body, he seems like he might be alright.
Ping is such a strange fellow, he sits every morning with his legs weaved around themselves in complete silence. He can do this for hours on end without moving a single muscle. I believe he is praying to his false gods. Though I am happy to have him at my side, as he is quiet and is always willing to share his portion of chicken, I do pray that he will someday find Allah.

Somewhere in the middle of the Sea
We left Tunis in a hurry, which certainly did not object to for a massive herd of Janissaries were sitting right outside the city gates. Luckily, Ping spotted them in time. In his cowardly haste, Faisal forced Abba to quickly purchase a small fishing boat and instructed him to blackmail the poor owners to sell us the boat and then work on it for free.

I think Avraham was right about the Germans, for a few of our newly hired crew are Germans and Abba caught them plotting to slit our throats while we were sleeping. I convinced Faisal to allow us to sell them to another slaver (the nastiness one I could find) at our next port rather than kill them, for death is far too quick a punishment for these murderous bastards.

May Allah grant us peace and honor.



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